Sunday, 2 November 2014
Saturday, 1 November 2014
This is a classic query for young teenage girls; "How can I make boys like me?"
In fact it's such a popular question that it's created an endless amount of webpages about how to get that special boy to like you and what boys look for in girls. There are videos all over you tube about what boys like and the kind of girl you should be if you want a boyfriend, here is of the 'advice' I found out there.
1. Get him to notice you. If he looks at you a lot then he probably already likes you. Find out what he likes doing and do the same thing. Be around him as much as possible doing the same activity.
2. Make him feel useful. Even if you don't need it, ask him to help with your homework or to help carry your things. Boys like feeling needed.
3. If he doesn't notice you, try changing your style. Try a new haircut, some new clothes, maybe even try losing a bit of weight. Not only will you feel better about yourself but he might notice this positive change.
4. Touch him as much as you can. Not in a creepy way, stroke his arm occasionally or touch his hand. This will encourage thoughts of intimacy.
5. Most importantly always look your best around him, but not as if you're trying too hard. If there's a chance of you running into him then always make sure you have a natural looking amount of make up on, relaxed but stylish clothing and your hair washed and brushed.
These are all genuine tips from the internet on how to get guys. The internet is a very stupid place.
These tips recommend: Lying about your interests to impress him
Acting as if you are weaker/less intelligent then you actually are
Changing yourself and even losing weight for him
Never risking not putting on makeup
This is ridiculous! Lets be honest, you can't make a guy like you. He either does or he doesn't, changing yourself won't do anything. Just be yourself that is the most important thing in the world. Just because one boy doesn't like you does not mean none of them will.
And to you internet people writing these things:
- Stop writing stupid things
- Don't encourage young, impressionable girls to change themselves
- This is absolute rubbish, just stop.
Halloween has been and gone, so the time of spooky ghosts and excess chocolate is over, however there are still loads of exciting things to do in the seemingly never ending run up to the month of jingle bells and a new excuse to eat excess amounts of chocolate. (If you need an excuse.)
This month I will be taking part in NaNoWriMo which is national novel writing month. The idea is you take the idea you've been putting off writing and attempt to write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. If you want to learn more then you can go here to check it out... http://nanowrimo.org/dashboard
To make sure I don't lock myself away and go completely mad during this challenge I plan to try and fit in an hour long walk through the countryside everyday. Plus this way I won't waste all the days before the weather becomes unbearably cold.
I'm also going to need to start Christmas planning as I have challenged myself to do everyone home made gifts this year which could be interesting. I've already found a few cool ideas but if anyone as any awesome home made gift ideas please share!
I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween and has an even more brilliant November. What are your plans for the month?
Friday, 31 October 2014
So I'm going to try and explain this without sounding absolutely insane. Basically when I get stressed or am feeling overwhelmed I have a place in my mind that I retreat to which is pretty much an imaginary world where everything is peaceful so I can just escape for a while.
My imaginary escape is a tree house in the middle of a big open forest where the sun is always trickling through the leaves and the rain always smells fresh and cool. It has bridges leading from tree to tree and it's always quiet. All you can see for miles is trees and plants there is literally no sign of normal civilisation or technology.
It's a place for me to be alone so I can just think and reflect on what's happening in my life without feeling bogged down by it all. I think imagination is such an underrated thing, you can create an entire escape for yourself without actually having to move, isn't that incredible? I use it as a way to cope with everything that happens in everyday life - sometimes it's nice to be able to separate yourself from all of it and look at things from a distance.
I would love to hear about your imaginary worlds or the thoughts you have on this concept. I hope you are all having an amazing day. (: x
Thursday, 30 October 2014
Ok so this is probably something you'll hear a lot throughout life
"Ugh she's such a slut..."
"She looks like a slut."
"I can't wear that, people will think I'm a slut."
What does that even mean?
The common response to 'what is a slut?' is 'a woman who has too much sexual interaction with too many different men.' (This is a summary of most of the responses I received when I asked people and I cleaned up the language a little.)
My response to this is how many is 'too many'? Is it over 5? Over 10? Over 100? Who decided that there is a limit on how many sexual encounters you can have in your life? When I asked people to clarify some people said it depends on the person, that just seems unfair. According to many people it falls on a spectrum and it's a combination of clothing, actions and general personality...meaning if you're just a naturally flirtatious person - even if you don't realise it, you could be classed as a slut. This idea confuses me, mainly because it just seems like a leftover ideal from when you weren't meant to sleep with anyone until you married them and men and women could only interact in a distant but polite manner. The concept of too many sexual partners just seems dated to me, I thought we'd moved past this?
My next source of confusion is how do you 'look like a slut?' As far as I'm concerned your sexual preferences aren't directly linked to the way you dress. So how can we define some-one as a slut or a prude based purely on their appearance as they're walking down the street? Is some-one 'slutty' if they're wearing a crop top and shorts...what if it's just really hot outside?
I honestly believe that sluts don't exist, it isn't a real thing. Different girls have different styles, sexual preferences and general personalities. The term 'slut' is as far as I'm concerned a made up term to try and keep people in unnecessary categories that don't actually make any sense.
In conclusion, don't call people sluts! It really is that simple. All you're doing is trying to put someone down for doing something that isn't actually wrong...
I would love to hear your opinion on the term 'slut' and other terms that pretty much mean the same thing. Do you agree that it isn't actually a real thing? Let me know and have an absolutely wonderful day! (:
Everyone in their life is going to experience set backs at some point in their life but in my experience and from what I've seen the most important part is how we choose to react to them. There are so many problems that can arise in day to day life but if you react positively they go from being disasters to learning curves in seconds. Here are some of the tactics that I've used for managing setbacks and bouncing back. . .
Be prepared for as many possibilities as you can - This doesn't mean you are setting yourself up for failure it just means that you're ready for the fact that things don't always go to plan. This way if something does go wrong you can take a breath and carry on.
Focus on finding solutions - When you're faced with a setback don't drag yourself down with all the other problems it could cause. Take a step back and focus on finding a solution one little bit at a time. No matter what the setback there is always a solution out there.
Ask for help - Sometimes we forget that it is ok to not know everything. There is always someone out there who will be willing to help you so don't be scared to ask around if you need a bit of extra input. That's what your friends are there for.
Most importantly stay positive - Setbacks can be upsetting, disheartening and all together heart breaking at the wrong moment but don't let it get the better of you. Instead of obsessing over the setback try and let it lead you to something better because very often it will.
How do you deal with setbacks or disappointments?
Wednesday, 29 October 2014
Recently I was invited to a reunion for my school class - I went to a Steiner school so each year only had one class and we were all incredibly close knit. This is such a lovely and exciting concept but it also terrified me because I haven't seen most of these people since I left year 11 and went to sixth form. (The Steiner school I went to ended at year 11 so I had to move onto a 'mainstream' sixth form or college.)
As is very common when confronted with the prospect of seeing old friends I found myself comparing my achievements to theirs. Now my life hasn't exactly been a dream world since I left Steiner. (Warning this is about to get quite personal but I promise it is leading to a bigger picture.)
I ended up at a grammar school sixth form which flared my anxiety to a point where I was completely unable to function. It got to the point where I couldn't go to classes without having a panic attack and after only two months I had to leave because it was causing problems not only with my mental health but physically as well.
I moved on to an apprenticeship which was perfect for me, it gave me a chance to tackle my anxiety without the pressure that I had to resolve my issues in a set time and within a few months I was pretty much back on my feet. However I couldn't complete my apprenticeship due to a devastating loss in the family which threw me backwards when it came to my anxiety and obviously generally chucked my life up in the air.
So when I was first confronted with this idea of a reunion I was terrified. All my friends have been off doing brilliant courses and doing amazing things, checking off every life event box on the way so I was left feeling like I was behind and it felt a bit like I hadn't accomplished anything.
Then I thought about it more calmly.
I realised that although this has been one of the most difficult times of my life over coming that is achievement enough for me. Getting to the point where I feel like I could go back to working and not have a mental breakdown is such a huge deal to me even if it doesn't mean much to other people.
I haven't spent this time doing nothing, I've been educating myself, learning all these incredible things and am finally starting to figure out what I want to do. This is my point. When we compare ourselves to other peoples accomplishments it is easy to make our own seem insignificant when really they are just as incredible. It's ok to go at your own pace, to take the time you need to achieve your goals. It's taken me 18 years to realise that life isn't a race.
We don't need to live in fear of keeping up with everybody else in our lives, our lives will move at their own speed with setbacks thrown in occasionally, but that is ok. As long as you keep trying it doesn't matter if checking off those life event boxes takes you longer then everybody else. Your twisting, turning, epic journey through life will be completely unique to you. So don't worry yourself with what other people are doing.
Do you guys ever feel this way? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you're all having an amazing day. (: x